The Growing Soul

Today I am learning to trust that no matter what is going on in my life, I am in the process of growth.

- Ruth Fishel, Time for Joy

It was a cold morning of August last year when I took a long yet leisurely walk bound to V. Mapa in Sta. Mesa, Manila. My plan at that time was only to buy a box of green tea bags in Gilmore. After I bought my lovely green tea, a thought arose in my mind: a thought of walking along V. Mapa to witness the morning beauty of Bodhi trees lined in the streets. For some it was very ordinary, some might think I'm nuts. Oh yes I'm crazy, they are just trees! But the Bodhi trees which lined in the streets is special for me, I even got a sapling from a bigger tree. They have taught me great lessons in life.

Bodhi tree is considered holy especially in India. The Bodhi tree is where the Buddha attained enlightenment and from there he was awakened, a very different form of awakening. Trees like a Bodhi tree always start with a seed planted into the soil. The seed shoots a small outgrowth, the young outgrowth matures, grows bigger and stronger through time. The big tree dances with the wind, bathe in sunlight, and sings with the rain. Storms do occur, harsh gust of winds and heavy rainfall pass by but the tree remains strong and continue to grow once more. One thing more amazing with Bodhi trees is that they grow in the most difficult environment. They thrive in hot places and you can even see one amongst the rubble!

The same thing is true with ourselves. We all started as small, grow old and mature through time. Our mind, body and spirit is continually nourished by the universe. Our private universe is always affected by the external world we sense and perceive. Every single moment of our life, every single breath, every ticking of the clock, vibrations and stimulation occur. We may not notice these things around us because of man's nature of selective consciousness. We get nourished through our experiences. In each experience there is always an element of risk. It is upon our decision to make things happen or not. When we risk we grow, we grow we learn, and when we learn we become better human beings. It's the greatest miracle! Just like what Thich Nhat Hanh said, "People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. " To walk on earth as a kind and compassionate human being.
To reject is easy, to accept is hard. It is hard to move on from a heartbreak, it is not easy to lose a job, it is very difficult to smile after a death of a family member, it is hard to find inner peace. Whenever suffering arises in our daily living the only easy way out is to escape. That is the common mindset of most people for the greatest liar is the self. We always deny what is true to us. But not to a Bodhi tree. He just accept things as they are, the suchness of everything. All the heat, all the rainfall, all the strong blows of nature. And at the end of the Bodhi tree's time, his leaves fall from his strong branches, the bark slowly looses its life and the Bodhi tree dies peacefully. He just let things be. Can we be like that in our lives? Of course we can.

I went home tired but happy. With my green tea and the Bodhi sapling who wouldn't be any happier? I soaked a tea bag into a cup of hot water, and sip by sip in my cup of tea, I watched the Bodhi sapling wilt slowly.

Sshhh... Listen

Working with college students is a very challenging task I encounter everyday. I proudly and humbly say that my means of livelihood is to listen. Yes listening. It sounds easy at first but not until one is already immersed into the whole process of it. As a Psychology graduate, I was formally educated that the delicate art of listening is a very fundamental skill of every effective counselor or psychotherapist must possess. My first counseling sessions with students were like groping in the dark - a sort of hit or miss encounters. They were like mind experiments by trying out the things I've learned from the books. I wasn't fully listening to them. My mind functions like a search engine looking for the appropriate theories to apply and the right words to say. Man, it was funny to recall those days yet far from REAL listening. Nevertheless, I learned.

Counseling is an educational experience for both the students and I. It's the willingness of us to grow, to risk, to care, to listen. A helping relationship that involves the union of polarities - despair and hope, lightness and darkness, doubt and faith, hatred and Love. Like a chemical mixture that attained neutrality from a right blend of acid and base; a harmonious concoction of fruitful talking and listening.

To listen is to Love and to Love is to Listen. Listening is a more subtle and silent form of Loving oneself and others. I listen because I have the desire to know more about you. I listen because I want to understand you better and I also need to understand my true nature. I will really pay heed in what you say for I have deep concern for you. I'm silently listening to my inner self because I Love myself. And I'm truly listening to you because I Love you.

As human beings we are fortunate for we are blessed with two ears and one tongue so that we may listen more and speak less. Listen and silent are just jumbled letters that can be counted as synonymous with each other. We are always reminded to keep silent when someone is talking in order to fully understand the other person and show respect to the one talking. One may also notice that when our two ears (pinna) are put together they take the form of a heart. It's also a constant reminder for us to listen with our hearts and not merely by our ears.

So if listening is Loving and listening is the greater part of of counseling, therefore, counseling is all about Loving. Does that makes sense my friend?

Flashing Red

Remember that death is not the end but only a transition.

Fatal Tragedy, Dream Theater

Stoplight's flashing red and rain gently weeps at España Blvd. A long queue of motor vehicles was caught in traffic jam. I was standing in front of a convenince store. As an observing eye, evident from the faces of most of the people seem irritated for the wait is like eternity. Static. Not moving an inch. Stuck.

The human design is intended to make responses to his or her environment. We function as a "well-oiled" and "programmed" feedback mechanism, thus we have the fight-or-flight response. An individual tend to fight towards or flee away from stressful situations. Let me give you some real life examples to make it clear for you. Whenever someone is angry, a person may lash out violently or walk out from the scene. When sadness befall an individual he or she will likely fight with the negative emotions, recalling the scars of the past over and over again. Others may divert their overwhelming gloom to zombie-like TV viewing, partying all night, overeating and the like. Even worse, there are people who choose to slit their wrist or hang themselves as the greatest form of escape into this life.

Many people get stuck once in their lives. I am. Apathetic, anxious, disheartened, staring blankly from a distant. Feels like a dead man walking. In stress-laden scenarios there are times that we neither fight or flee, we stop. For the many, to die is to cease - the end of all things. But moment by moment we "die," in every blink of an eye we pause. From the instance that we get stuck, there sprouts our introspective nature and sometimes literally motionless. Being stuck is the fertile soil to grow and reap sudden flash of insights. And from those insights we become awake. Just like a second wind, a rush of new life to an ailing body, a thermal that lifts a plane, the wings that will fly us to the summit of enlightenment.

Stoplight's flashing green. Jeepneys, buses and cars throttle along the damp street of España Blvd. and off I walk home inspired - the Muse has arrived.

The Gift

"Api 18th b-day Karla! feb. 14 d b? wow dlaga k n! San kainan?" Marco texted.

"Uy tnx. hehe. regalo mo ha? psaway k!" Karla replied.

Marco candidly answered, "Ha...eh...jejeje metta!"

We always associate gifts with important celebrations: birthday, wedding day, mothers day, fathers day and maybe in the near future we will be celebrating happy embryos or happy zygotes day! And year after year we are always greeting each other and continuously giving and receiving presents to or from our love ones. It's good to rejoice for all the special occasions but aren't we contented for what we have? We have already received the greatest gift we can ever have.

Last Sunday while I was reading a book, I came a cross a phrase that struck my consciousness: the greatest gift. Thinking deeply about it, the three kings from the Bible popped out in my mind. The three kings along with their precious gifts, searched for the newly born Jesus Christ. And there lay baby Jesus on the manger with Mary and Joseph. Setting aside whether the story is authentic or not, I don't take it too superficially. Symbolically, the three gifts they offered to Jesus represents our Life (buhay), our Fellowmen (kapwa), and our inherent capacity to Love (pag-ibig).

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. This line is the most common that we hear among Catholics in their prayers. The sentence itself embodies the greatest gift we already have and it is sufficient to feed us spiritually. The Father is God as God is Love, the Son is our fellowmen and the Spirit is the Holy Breath that is equivalent to life.

It is good to be contemplative about these things. If we are just fully aware of the gifts we already received since the time of our birth, we will live free from insecurity, full of peace and harmony. It is with this deep respect for life that we bind, seeing the gem within each of us. Just as what the founder of Sikolohiyang Pilipino, Dr. Enriquez once said, "ang kapwa ay sarili rin."

Mutual trust, respect, kindness, empathy and compassion to others is all we need. Having the sense of our profound interconnectedness is the basis for realizing that every living being desires genuine happiness. The Dalai Lama always remind us that,"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."

Buhay. Kapwa. Pag-ibig. It's all we ever need.

Starting Anew

But where was I to start? The world is so vast, I shall start with the country I know best, my own. But my country is so very large. I had better start with my town. But my town, too, is large. I had best start with my street. No: my home. No: my family. Never mind, I shall start with myself.

Elie Wiesel
Souls on Fire

Starting something new is one of the most difficult thing to do for me. I always have doubts from within that hinders me to move forward. A long list of questions and endless excuses fill my mind. Where should I begin? How will I do it? Will I do good? What will others might say about me if I will do this? I'm too busy. I'm tired from work. Maybe the next day I'll be ready, or next week, or next month. How about next year?

It leads to nowhere.

Doubting is natural, but it has to end. The end of all doubts is a state of peacefulness. In taking risks we grow. I am now certain that I shall begin with what my inner whispers are. From what is resonating in my mind, from what my eyes have seen, from what my ears have heard, from my very experiences that I have felt, from what I have realized during the moments of silence of my heart and mind.

In stillness and solitude we clearly see our selves. Let's say there's a basin half-filled with water and you keep stirring it with your hand. Will you see a lucid view of your face as you stir the water in it? Absolutely not. But wait until it become still and you shall see your reflection on it. To seek our true and deepest nature is our purpose in life.

What then is our real nature? Love is the answer my friend. I am Love. You are Love. We are all Love. As Leo Buscaglia puts it, "Universal love is not only possible, it is the most complete love of which we are capable as human beings." Let us not view Love from a narrow perspective and box it in limited categories. Love is all-embracing and the most important thing we can do is to begin NOW.

Let us start anew!